Last week The Age online ran an article about my life as a dominatrix. The reporter was Annabel Ross. As far as I know Annabel is not a BDSM lifestyler. She worked only with the information I gave her and wrote a non biased account of my lifestyle and vocation. It was not sensationalised and was based on the information that I had given.
Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life/i-am-a-dominatrix-20130618-2of3r.html#ixzz2XEg3ZPqJ
The following was written in the comments section after the article was published. It brought up a very valid point that I have chosen to be the first I am responding to.
“I’m a libertarian too and while not a member of the BDSM scene I certainly have lots of friends who are. I was horrified by this sentence in the article because every single BDSM enthusiast I know knows that consent is key and safety is paramount. “
The following sentence is from my interview and needs to be interpreted:
- “(she) flogged him til he begged her to stop. Then she kept going.”
The story goes;
“ I continued to beat him, hitting as hard as I could, not knowing if I was getting it right but he was still not begging me to stop. When he finally did, I said no. The look in his eyes when I refused was priceless.
I did stop as he was nearly in tears and was begging. I saw a look on his face that was so full of intensity and I felt a glow inside me that I’d never felt before. The energy between us was amazing.
That was my first session and I loved it. It also formed a bond between us that will always remain.”
– See more at: http://www.myotherself.com.au/2011/09/10-questions-with-mistress-alex/#sthash.PElj0L28.dpuf
That’s how I remember my first true BDSM experience and how it was recalled to Annabel. The meaning of the quote “then she kept going” could only refer to my journey as a dominatrix.
I was not in a dungeon in a professional or commercial setting. I was in the bedroom with my boyfriend. He asked me to beat him and that’s exactly what I did. Admittedly a safe-word was something I’d never heard of, along with words like; prodomme, the scene, lifestyle etc.. Soon after I learned many important words and ‘mercy’ (or other agreed safeword) was one of them.
On a professional level I will not run a session without a safe-word or an option for the slave/sub to stop the session if he or she needs to.
Yes, consent is key and safety is paramount.
Alex Vicia